Please vote before you read the article so you can for an unbiased opinion. Thank you for resolving a very serious dispute in my home. Slowly Brent and I are getting back in the swing of things after H1N1 flu has hit our home. No, it wasn't laboratory confirmed (I know because I work for the State lab) but I can say with confidence that if you get the flu this year, most likely it's H1N1. Don't freak out just wash your hands, get your flu shot, and hope you don't get it. If you do get it, stock up on gatorade and be prepared to rest and consume copious amounts of ibuprofen for aches, pains, and fever. I'm not an expert this is just from our experience. Anyways, tonight we were able to go out to dinner for the first time since last Saturday at ACL and we went to Kerby Lane. I think Brent has forgotten a few of his social graces, in being confined at home, and in my opinion he was a little more ornery than usual, but I'll get to that at the end of my post. Anyways, we decided to meet with Amber and her friend Chris at Kerby to celebrate on of her milestones in her home purchasing experience. It was a good choice for dinner and after much internal struggle, I made a "good" healthy choice for my dinner. I had the Berkley salad without onions and their balsamic vinaigrette on the side. I was hoping for more chickpeas but it was good, filling and healthy. I was pleased with myself and pleased with my dinner (beaming). It also came with a yummy Hawaiian style roll. Everyone else ordered breakfast which is consistently good at Kerby Lane and I don't think you can ever go wrong with breakfast there. Now, to Brent being ornery. This is one side of the story, my side, so take it for what it is. Now I am going to expose an ugly soon-to-not-be-secret part of our relationship. Exhibit A: Sometimes I ask Brent to hide things. Exhibit B: It never works out. For example, in the past I have asked him to hide my scale from me in order to attempt from obsessing over my weight. It has only happened a couple of times and it has always ended with me lying in bed, in tears, begging for the scale. I don't deny I have a problem. Exhibit C: Men do not learn from their mistakes, particularly when they get a laugh out of it.
This week the problem was Nilla Wafers. First off, Brent likes to call Nilla Wafers "cookies". They ARE NOT cookies. Oreos are cookies. I believe that if you were to follow the Nilla Wafer line of evolution and geneology that you would find it is more closely related to the graham cracker family therefore it is a cracker. I am in search of a food anthropologist to confirm or deny my scientific approach to this argument. If you know one please send them my way. Since I do have a degree in Biology and have a significantly more extensive scientific background than Brent, I feel confident in my very scientific theory. Now, we were sick and I was trying to find something Brent would eat in the peak of his flu. Saltine crackers and Nilla Wafers were purchased. After he started feeling better both were free game. I started eating Nilla Wafers more regularly after I noticed he was eating other things. Ok, so maybe I would eat 20 or so crackers at a time. Maybe, just maybe, I went to the pantry more often than normal to grab a handful. Hey, my body needed sustenance too and calories to heal, right? He made the offhanded comment that maybe he should hide the "cookies" and I, equally off offhandedly, agreed. The following day after this conversation I returned to work. When I came home I mentally made a point not to go to the pantry. A few hours after enjoying some time with Brent he mentioned that I hadn't missed my "cookies". It was then that I knew. He had made the terrible mistake of hiding the crackers. This was not ok with me. Crazy girl thoughts.. unite! Maybe my mom was right and he was controlling, maybe he thinks I'm way fatter than I realize, maybe, Maybe, MAYBE! End.. bed, crying and we play the hot and cold game until I locate the box of Nilla Wafers shoved between the fridge and kitchen counter. Angrily, I ate 3 handfuls of cookies. That showed him! So, he was ornery because he brought up this power struggle in front of Amber and Chris. Maybe I called him ornery and said he was being mean because I realize that my food struggles are being exposed. Maybe I was upset because he was right but he tried to prove the point in the wrong way. Guys, let me tell you something. If your girl is eating too much let me offer you some suggestions. Make her feel beautiful and she will want to be more beautiful for you. Suggest "being healthy" and going for a walk or run or find a mutually interesting outdoor activity to do. Better yet, cook her a healthy meal. But do not, under any circumstances, hide her "cookies". Brent, I love you. Nilla Wafers, you are no longer welcome in my home... after I finish this box.
12 Comments
L*3
10/10/2009 10:16:28 am
I never realized my blog would help me realize who my REAL friends are... it's a cracker!
Reply
Lori
10/10/2009 10:52:03 am
I too Laura side with Brent. A cookie it is indeed. A cracker has salt and a cookie is sweet.....Hence the Nilla is a cookie.....
Reply
Bud
10/10/2009 12:39:49 pm
Wow Laura, I love your blogs. Girl, you should be writing for a New York newspaper and getting paid BIG MONEY. Then Brent wouldn't dare hide your cookies.
Reply
Nicole
10/11/2009 01:09:08 am
Ummm, I don't want to be too literal here, but aren't nilla wafers just wafers? Neither a cookie nor a cracker? Laura, I'm buying you the food bible for Christmas so you can win all of your arguments cuz I know that you're right every time any way:)
Reply
Vanessa
10/11/2009 03:41:54 am
This is too funny...I mean serious! I would have to agree with Nicole here. I had to vote "other". I think a Nilla Wafer is...a wafer!
Reply
Kim W.
10/11/2009 06:22:08 am
sorry but Nilla Wafers are most definitely a cookie!! I know this because they were the only cookies we were allowed on a daily basis growing up. Also I know this because they are awesome dunked in milk ... and you would NEVER dunk a cracker in milk! : )
Reply
Amber L
10/13/2009 01:29:47 am
The best thing was the story did play out exactly as Laura wrote it above. It was funny at dinner and just as funny to recap it again in the blog.
Reply
Sara
10/13/2009 02:03:01 am
Hilarious post! :)
Reply
Chris S
10/13/2009 03:51:53 am
As Amber's "friend," I have to say this dinner was very entertaining. I learned something very interesting about Laura (Laura, you're awesome BTW!) and something very interesting about Brent as well (phi-phi-k-a). I follow Laura's scientific approach to calling it a cracker, but I can certainly see the cookie perspective as well. Maybe instead of trying to choose one side or the other, we can establish an entirely novel perspective and call it a "crackie." Yeah, I'm formally declaring Nilla Wafers are crackies...and apparently they mimic similiar addictive characteristics as crack for Laura :)
Reply
L*3
10/13/2009 05:49:16 am
I'll concede and call them crackies, especially since I am losing; whoever my one other voter is on cracker up and to this point... thank you. I thought I had friends and now realize I may have none.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |